As a result, in advance of the “mediation day”, I feel I have been able to focus better not only on the substantive issues but on personal dynamics and sensitivities. Of all my learning, though, it’s the intimacy of the meetings on the day which impresses me, whether listening to a party explaining his or her story, or discussing privately with the lawyers as candidly as I have ever done, their negotiating strategy and how I can help them. Sometimes, we have done this in the lawyer’s separate room, giving their client another room, indeed with permission to go off and do other things until their lawyer texts them with a request to return.

Sometimes I have spoken to the parties on their own just to reassure and help them to manage the day. Sometimes the lawyers all gather in the “lawyers’ room” to take stock. While many of the usual negotiation dynamics are present, I am finding that there is often greater candour and more respect shown for differing views. And a willingness to assess the effect of how we speak and act online. It is as if this electronic distancing enables a different kind of intimacy or openness.

I feel I have been able to be as frank and as considered as I would always hope to be. I am less hassled than I sometimes feel moving between rooms. We laugh about sharing lunch and refreshments. Dress code seems to vary but is mostly more relaxed and variation is not an issue. I feel more in control and of course, in a way, I am.

The real point, however, is that this is not a “Zoom mediation” but a mediation using a number of media, including an online visual and audio tool which is called Zoom. The platform is a servant to the process, not the other way round.

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