Former FBI Hostage Negotiator Has Suggestions on How You Can be a Better Negotiator
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Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator who now teaches negotiation techniques. He has a video on YouTube giving some pointers on how you can be a better negotiator
Voss says how you use your voice is very important and is driven by context more than anything else. Your tone of voice will immediately impact the other party’s mood. Voss says there is scientific data showing that our brains will work up to 31% more effectively when we are in a good mood.
If you smile at the other party and they see it and hear your smile in your voice Voss says that will put the other person in a better mood without any conscious decision to do so. If that happens the person’s brain will work more effectively and increase the chances that you’ll be able to collaborate.
Mirroring is a technique to help connect with the other party by repeating what they say and/or do. Voss says what he teaches is very simple, repeating the last one to three words the person said or the one to three most important words. Voss says it,
- “(H)elps connect people’s thoughts,”
- Gives you a better understanding of what the other person is trying to say,
- Gives you some time to think about what you want to say next, and
- When the other party hears their words back from you they may re-evaluate their position so you’ll learn how committed they are to that position. They may respond with something slightly or completely different or agree that’s what they want.
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