In other words, the secrets of negotiation lie not so much in knowing how to parry and thrust against the other side’s maneuvers to score the most points. In fact, Wheeler repeatedly emphasizes that pushing for the best possible deal is not necessarily to a negotiator’s advantage. Sometimes an overly aggressive approach will cause the other side to walk away, and sometimes getting more than your fair share will end up costing you in the end.
Instead, being a good negotiator is more about being in tune with the needs and desires of the other side, the way that good jazz musicians or theatrical improvisers respond to what they hear from their counterparts. It’s about having a plan and then throwing that plan out the window as soon as you encounter the unpredictable response of the other side. And it’s about learning how to treat our adversary as a partner in a project that requires more collaboration than competition.
