Stories reminds us, graphically, that it is the parties who are supposed to be at the center of the process. It also demonstrates that it is the parties who often can be the sources of the most valuable and, sometimes, crucial contributions to the viability of the process. It is the parties, after all, who best understand themselves. They know what they think, feel and need. And sometimes it is the parties who best understand one another – who most accurately identify the agendas, needs, and goals that the other side has set for itself.

How can we help the parties or earn and deserve their confidence if we do not ‘pause in their places’ long enough to learn these things — if we are so obsessed with our own ‘orchestration of process’ that we hustle right past these significances?

These are not just philosophic issues. They implicate our ability to do our job. We cannot ‘speak to’ a party without first learning his language, the language that will open him to hearing us. And we cannot help a party ‘come to terms’ unless she understands that we understand her circumstances and needs – and have given them full play in our efforts to secure the most attractive proposals possible from the other side.

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