It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the harm such a prenup can do to a marriage. During the negotiations, feelings are harmed, generally irreparably. I have seen people walk down the aisle with a marriage – with all but the financial connection. The feeling of being abused and marginalized persists through the marriage. Having little or no vested martial rights weakens and harms the marital relationship.
Of course, these concerns apply much less (and sometimes do not apply) to later-in-life marriages where the parties are financially secure and there are children of previous marriages. For these people, a prenup is often helpful to create family peace and provide for one’s own children at death, often balancing this with the needs of the new spouse.
Mediation is an excellent way for people to resolve their differences and have clear
communications. A mediator can help level the playing field, and elicit all thoughts and concerns of both parties in a nonconfrontational setting. Mediating these conversations helps the clients discuss difficult issues without emotions, anger, and hot speech overcoming them.
