“Please find attached our clients’ offer for the above property. This is their best and final offer and they have asked for a decision today.”

A letter received out of the blue on a Friday afternoon on behalf of clients who were interested in purchasing a house. There had been no prior indication that an offer would be forthcoming. The house in question had only recently come on the market.

The response of the sellers was not positive. It felt like a gun to the head. Their immediate reaction was to instruct an equally robust response. But they knew, through conversation, that the clients in question were decent folk, under a bit of pressure. It was decided simply to say that a response would be forthcoming in due course. It was duly given on the Monday.

There are three interesting aspects to this. Firstly, looked at in the cold light of day, the letter may seem innocuous to some readers. But that was not how it was received in the heat of the moment. The only thing that matters about communication of any message is how it is received: whatever I intend to say, if you take something different from it, what you take is what counts. This means that we need to know our audience, be aware of the context, think about the impact of the words we use and anticipate the possible reactions – whether apparently (to us) irrational or not.

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