So here are some thoughts about addressing [assumed motivation], for mediators and parties alike:
1. An assumed motivation may in fact be accurate. Mediations are not love-ins, they are usually challenging processes in which parties pursue (quite rightly) their own desired ends.
4. Take time. To reflect genuinely on a person’s motivation takes time. Pause, don’t rush to judgement. When another party does something unexpected and challenging before or during a mediation, don’t rush to judgement. Take a few moments to consider the range of possible motivations. Sit lightly, or provisionally, to any conclusion. At least for a while.
6. Practice curiosity. As a general rule, curiosity serves both mediators and parties rather well. Parties who enter mediation with curiosity will inevitably learn far more than those who don’t (and so, by the way, will mediators).
